We understand that the transition of helping a loved one move into an assisted living community is often a difficult decision and creates a wide range of emotions and feelings for families helping make the decision. These emotions are normal and range from guilt, anxiety, shame and apprehension to relief, appreciation, and a feeling of knowing your loved one is cared for and safe. According to David D. Burns, MD, “sometimes we refuse to accept situations that are beyond our control, but it doesn’t do much good.” He also says, “many people find it difficult to accept their feelings…and sometimes you will have mixed feelings about letting go of a negative emotion.” Psychology Today (PT) says that when you feel you have committed an act of betrayal, feelings of remorse and regret often surface. The good news is that there are ways to work through these negative feelings you experience.
Some points to consider:
- Forgive yourself – PT explains that “regret is a form of unforgiveness of yourself.”
- Accept yourself – Remember we all have to make hard decisions in our journey of life and we need to accept the decisions we make and focus on the reason we made those decisions.
- Focus on positive self-talk – Our negative thoughts are powerful; replace those thoughts with positive reinforcement for yourself. It’s powerful!
- Consider what positive energy does for our minds and bodies – PT says that “regret robs you of positive energy,” creating muscle tension, precious energy, peace, and more.
- Resolve the regret and negative feelings – Be purposeful in your attention and actions towards peace within. PT explains that, “understanding the toxicity of regret helps bring awareness and allows you to CHOOSE to heal.
- Leave your regrets behind – Reset your life with a fresh start and new normal.
- REALIZE YOU ARE NOT ALONE – Others are experiencing similar thoughts, emotions, and feelings on this journey.
With that in mind, our community is working to form a support group for those who are considering assisted living for a loved one or currently has a loved one in assisted living. A support group will benefit so many who need and want to better understand what they are going through and what others have experienced. Everyone is at different stages of the transition and processing different emotions. What better way to cope than to form relationships and cultivate friendships with others who are exploring options for their own family’s care, undergoing the transition of moving a loved one into a new home at an assisted living community, or already have a loved one living in an assisted living community.
We hope you will join us as we begin the formation of our support group that offers regular get-togethers to help form friendships and alliances for you, as a Caregiver Warrior.